A Philippian Thought....

"I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls.  If I love you more, am I to be loved less?"
2 Corinthians 12:15

Almost a month ago now, I took up a challenge to read the entire book of Philippians every day for a month.  It has been really good for me and I would recommend it for all of you!!  I do want to share with you my most recent discovery with the book. Until this past week I had created "sections" in my mind of the book.  I am guessing that is how a lot of us read through it.  For instance there is the section where he talks about contentment, the section he talks about walking worthy, the part where Paul talks about not complaining, etc.  Over this past week a bigger theme emerged.  

We are called to sacrifice our lives in service to God and for others, so that God would be glorified and His name proclaimed.  It is like Paul is trying to drill this concept into the church so he continually brings it up throughout the book. In the first chapter, Paul is like "hey, I want you to realize how awesome this is; God has used my imprisonment to spread the Gospel to the imperial guard and all those around me! In fact it has encouraged other believers to speak His Word!"  Yes, there were people with the wrong motives, but Paul chose not to brew over it, he simply rejoiced that the truth of the gospel was being shared!  

In the next chapter it says "do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Don't just only care about your interests, but the interests of others." Christ, in the form of God, didn't count it a thing to be grasped!  Jesus gave up all His rights in order to serve and gave himself to us even to the point of death.  Paul goes on to say don't be people who complain, grumble, argue, and stir up strife. Why?  Because people are watching you and you are shining the light of Christ.

Paul tells the church "Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.  Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me!" (The verse at the top was one I ran across while cross-referencing this verse.) What?! Is Paul really excited about having to lay his life on the altar for other people? Yep...and not only that, but as he lays out his pedigree for everyone,  he considers it rubbish. (I love that word!) He strains the point that everything is nothing, because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ and being found in him.  Anyway, I will stop with sharing examples now, I think you can get the point. We are called to fully sacrifice every part of our life to the service of God! Many times we find ourselves trying to crawl off the altar.  It is so true, at least for me, that when it gets a little to painful and I find myself crawling to the edge of the altar. It isn't easy or pain free, however we are called to sacrifice and to sacrifice with joy to the glory of God our Father!

Life News...

This past Sunday I drove up near Grand Haven, MI to go camping.  I had originally planned on going with Sarena, but she ended up going home for the weekend.  Rather than sit at home with nothing to do, I decided to go by myself!!  It has been extremely refreshing and relaxing! I was able to try out my new hammock too!!  Since it is the end of September, the campground was really empty too! There were only a few other campers (especially once Monday hit), so it was very peaceful!  It was really awesome just to be able to spend time enjoying God's creation.  Being that quality time is by far my number one love language, it becomes vitally important for me to spend quality time with God in order to deepen my relationship with him. That is what these past few days were all about, and I feel mightily refreshed because of it!! :)

Hiking along Lake Michigan

All I need is some coffee and a whole lot of Jesus. :)

Some exciting news, is that I joined BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) this year!  We are studying the book of John!  I know absolutely no one in my group right now (there are about 10 of us), but I am excited to get to know them and be able to build relationships with them!!

A few weeks ago, Sarena and I went on my family vacation.  We spent the week up in Lacrosse, WI.  It was very relaxing and enjoyable!  We rode a river boat, went kayaking/paddle-boarding, walked around downtown, sat at coffee shops, did an escape room (and escaped!!), rode Segways (I know...totally awesome!), and just relaxed.  Then at the end of our vacation (Friday), we drove to Rochester, MN where we met up with Kevin & Nikki.  Saturday morning, Nikki and I ran in a Half Marathon!!  It was awesome!  I have to admit I was (and am still) quite proud of my accomplishment!  I have been training all summer for this and it has been on my bucket list for a long time.  I even was able to met the time goal that I had set (2hrs 5min)!  Huge thanks to Nikki for running it with me, it is really nice to be able to run with someone!  Now onto my next goal....a full Marathon 2017.  :)

Sarena, myself, Kelsy

I found my ol' man!!! :)

Too many delicious options....how do you decide!?!?!

Waiting on the river boat

Sarena & I 

Selfie on the riverboat

Jeff was too lame to do this with me...so I solicited Sarena & mom:)

A stop on the Segway tour

Us with our Segway guide! Once again....Jeff was too lame (sorry if the truth stings Jeff...Xp)

Opps.....is the ball not suppose to go in the stream? :)

Analyzing the correct angle at which to strike the ball...

 Batting Cages!

When you realize just how short you are........

We made sure to get our quota of ice cream:)

Friendship is never without its moments....   :p

Carb loading :)

3 Sets and a Run

Nikki & I before the race

Looks like I'm struggling...:)

Pounding out the last few feet!

Dude....WE MADE IT!!!!

The weather apparently caused my hair to get entirely knotted up!! I could literally feel my pony tail shrinking throughout the race! It took me an hour to untangle it!

We recently were able to capture our first roommate picture.....we won't mention how long we have lived together... ;)  

And a couple random pictures to finish out this post....

Whole30 Egg Casserole and Ethiopian coffee!

Saturday morning at Conjure Coffee

My Brokenness

I think if I were to sum up my thoughts on how this summer went, I would say it was a struggle and I felt like I floundered through it.  These past few months have been completely wearing on me in all areas of my life and has left me drained.   Throughout this past week, a theme has started to emerge that has thrown me deep into my ponderings.....so bear with me. :)

At the beginning of summer, due to staffing and other needs, the house I was working in closed.  There were many discussions that went on and many components playing into what my role was going to look like for the time, which then continued to change.   To some of you, I don't think it would have been as hard.  However, it plunged me into the middle of my insecurities, fears, and hurts.  I was quickly drained trying to tread water to keep my head above the waves.  I spent many days in tears and went through a whole string of extreme emotions.  I felt like I was completely falling apart.  In fact I still feel completely broken; that's what hit me the other day!!  I am so broken, empty, and worn.  Without God, I can do nothing.  For example; I didn't feel like I could handle dealing with the residents anymore because I had nothing left to give.  The thing is I never could handle the residents....it has always been God working through me; being filled up with Him so that His love could be poured out to the kids.  What changed was that I wasn't being filled up with God; I wasn't allowing God to work through me.  From here the "theme" of the past few months emerged: Brokenness.  My own brokenness and sinfulness.  When it became abundantly clear that I was failing miserably, I realized just how much I truly need God.  A friend told me towards the beginning of summer that maybe this was God's way of teaching me to trust Him more and rely on Him over trying to handle it myself.  I do think that ended up being the case, however He used a slightly different tactic this time.  Rather than show/teach me who He was and that He can be trusted, He showed me who I was.  Seeing myself for who I am, gives me a deeper and stronger love for God and what He did/does for me!!! I recognize that I cannot be trust myself; that I can't just "do it on my own."  I can't...I need God.

For the past week I have listened to these three songs on repeat.  They are all three by Ryan Proudfoot....you should check out his music!:)

I Need You Now 

In my brokenness You find me

When my hope seems lost You remind me

That you're near to my heart, holding me close

I need You now, I need You now

I need You like never before (2x)

In my emptiness You find me

When my joy seems lost You remind me

That you're near to my heart, holding me close

When my heart is breaking

When my joy is fading

God you've never left me

You're holding me close

Holding me close

A Man Named Job 

Once was a man with all the possessions that this world could hold,

The Father's riches seemed to overflow but all he wanted was You.

A blameless man who feared God turned away from evil,

The greatest man this land had ever known, but all he wanted was You.

Yeah, just You. Just You.

The servants come one by one to tell him all the news,

That everything has been lost, there's nothing left to you.

Knees to the ground, he rips his shirt and starts to shave his head.

Looks to the sky and then somehow he says 

"All I need is You!"

Then boils come one by one, he's covered head to toe.

Among the ashes, still somehow he knows all I need is You.

"Curse God and die!" So she says but does she really know?

That shall we take good from God and not evil.

Not evil, from you.

His friends, they travel for days to give him counsel now.

But they don't know what to say, they only tear him down.

He starts to question their ways, it seems they've led him wrong.

But then he starts to complain, that's when we hear the sound.

"A voice that comes from the wind is here to question you

And since you've tried to contend, I hope you hear the truth

That all the wind, stars, and skies

The raising seas, the waters rise

You can't deny that I'm the one all this has come through

Cause I'll always be and I've always been

Wherever you've gone, I've been with you then.

Humble your heart, fall on your knees, 

Trust in my ways when still you can't see."

When I can't see, I trust You.

This man we know named as Job, he falls unto the ground,

Covers his hand to his mouth so words won't utter out

"My God, Your wonderful ways, no man can understand,

So now I'll give You my days, cause all I need is You.

Change Me

Walking down a lonely road,

Feeling lost and so alone.

I need to know Your here with me.

Feeling like I've fallen to far,

To know that I am in Your arms.

I know You feel my pain.

And oh, I need to know

Won't You change me, rearrange me.

You come and pick me up,

Overwhelming me with Your love.

Draw me closer to Your heart.

Only You, can draw me closer to Your heart.

And I'll taste it, and I've seen it, I believe it

You can change me, rearrange me.

Won't You change me, rearrange me.

Oh God I love what You do

Your love is making me new.

You have changed me, rearranged me.

Sunset on my way home from work one evening

How I made it through summer;)

 My mom came out for a week and volunteered!!  I loved having her out and we got to do some painting together!:)

We mostly painted one of the houseparent apartments...but we did get to do some decorative painting in my bathroom at work!!

Made Creme Brûlée with some friends!

Went to the Ethiopian restaurant in Fort Wayne...it was quite delicious...

Some of the houseparent kids started up a lemonade stand on the circle drive:)

Some of my residents think I am weird....I don't know why though.  All I said was: "What Mountain Dew you want to climb?"  "Lets go climb Mountain Dew!"

Yikealo came out to Leo for a visit a couple weekends ago!!

A couple of my recent drawings...

Well that is all folks....!  School is now back in session which makes summer officially over!  The Gateway auction was this past Saturday, and we raised over a half of million!!!!  Praise & thanks to God for His provision!! Also, huge thanks to all of you who volunteered throughout the summer & auction week, those who donated items to the auction, & those who donated money.  We need all of you to make the work here possible!! THANK YOU!

I will leave you will a prayer that was in my devotions recently...

Lord, I release the grip I have on the things that prevent me from returning Your passionate embrace. I give You all my faith, all my hope, and all my love.

I lay down my need to understand why things happen the way they do.

I lay down my fears about others walking away and taking their love with them.

I lay down my desire to prove my worth.

I lay down my resistance to fully trust Your thoughts, Your ways, and Your plans, Lord.

I lay down being so self-consumed in an attempt to protect myself.

I lay down my anger, unforgiveness, and stubborn ways that beg me to build walls when I sense hints of rejection.

I lay all these things down and ask that Your holy fire consume them until they become weightless ashes.  And as I walk away, my soul feels safe.  Held.  And truly free to finally be me. - Amen

Exciting Adventures

FYI:  Since this could be an extremely long post....I will try to keep my words to a minimum and let the pictures speak for themselves.:)

"Nothing in this life will ever matter unless it is about loving God and loving the people He has made."

This has recently become one of my favorite quotes!! Actually, my mom & I just painted this saying on the wall in my bathroom at work.  It is a really good reminder for me why I do what I do.  This work can be really stressful and overwhelming and times.  So when I lose sight of my why, it becomes really easy to want to simply through in the towel and give up.  However, I do what I do because I love God and I want to love the people He has created in His own image! As hard as it is to be used up, I want to slide across the finish line at the end of up life completely used up.  To know that I gave my all to God and loved others in a very real way.

WEDDING

June 4th weekend was Kevin & Nikki's wedding.  It was a beautiful wedding!!  I am so excited to have Nikki as a sister!  She was a stunning and beautiful bride!  I love how she brings out the best in Kevin!!  I am so happy for both of them!  It was also great to be able to see so many friends & family again!!  Here are some of the pictures, courtesy of Timeless Moments.  They did a excellent job!

ETHIOPIA

A week after Kevin's wedding, I climbed aboard a flight for Ethiopia.  As many of you might remember, I went there last year in July.  I went with part of the same group this year and then some more.:)  Chris & Erica Manz headed up the team again and they brought their 2nd daughter, Malia, and their youngest, Quintin.  The rest of the team consisted of Larisa Maibach and her son Yikealo, Jill Wordekemper and her son Carson, Rachel Manz, Phillip Huette, and Richard Manz.  We arrived in Addis Sunday morning and spent the day organizing donations, went out for coffee, and sleeping.  Then Monday we flew to Mekele, which is in the northern part of Ethiopia.  There we spent all week helping build the second floor on the Metekle school.  Originally the plan was that we would be painting, however there were some delays and so they were building the concrete walls still.  So we spent all week doing a lot more manual labor.  The biggest task was carrying these concrete cinder blocks up this eucalyptus tree ramp.  Needless to say it was a workout! Not only are you climbing up a steep tree ramp, but it is also really high elevation....so you are out of breath to begin with!:)  I was quite proud of myself on Wednesday, because I carried 200 blocks up the ramp!! (180 before noon!!)

Friday we drove out to Samre which is way out in the country.  We did a Child Sponsorship distribution and update day.  I think this was one of my favorites from the trip, because the drive out there was so beautiful!!! It was very mountainous and grand canyon like in places!!  The huts were all made out of stone.  Saturday we flew back to Addis.  Then Sunday we toured a museum and old palace of one of the emperors....which is nothing like you would like of a palace.  Then did some gift shopping.  We also went to eat at Lucy's (which is were we ate all the time last year) so that I could get one of my favorite dishes!  Which was just like I remembered. :)

The worst part of the trip was that Philip got really sick Sunday afternoon before we were suppose to fly out.  They ended up taking him to the hospital and for awhile were hoping that he would still be able to get on our flight.  However, he wasn't anywhere near healthy enough to travel because he wasn't able to keep anything down.  So Richard & him ended up staying another day in Ethiopia.  The rest of our group got on our flight and took off.  Then our original 17 hour flight turned into 24 hours.....yah....on the same plane.....never getting off!!!! Talk about long!  We took off from Addis at 10 pm Sunday night, then had to circle back to Addis because the water heater wasn't working...therefore the water pipes were freezing up.  So we landed back in Addis a little after 1 am and sat on the plan until 5 pm when we were finally able to take off again.  Then our refuel in Dublin ended up taking almost two hours rather than the scheduled one.  Needless to say the entire plane missed their connecting flights which led to complete chaos when we landed in America...along with some very unhappy people.  They were able to get us home that same day though by rerouting us through Chicago to Indy.

The view from my room at Ordinary Hero Guesthouse in Addis Ababa

Carson and Yikealo enjoyed the luxury seating in the airport...

Scaffolding in the school....all eucalyptus trees

Building the walls!

The famous ramp...

The contractor wanted a picture with his youngest workers. :)

Some of the delicious food!!!!

Ethiopian coffee is the absolute best!!!!

Another favorite, was that I got to experience a traditional coffee ceremony!!!  Here the ladies are roasting the coffee beans and making popcorn.

One day after work we did some sightseeing in Mekelle

Yikealo showed me the face that nobody can deny....I have to admit, it is pretty good. :)

Yikealo got some traditional clothes from some of his family there!!

Drive out to Samre