Immeasurable Love

Passion....it is something that all of us have plenty of.  But sometimes it gets buried under the daily stresses. That is what happened to mine over the summer.  Over the past couple of weeks though I have been spending a lot of time refreshing my soul, searching out God, relaxing(a very helpful tool), and trying  to reacquaint myself with what my purpose/mission is and where my passions are.

I am just going to be pretty open and honest here(sorry if the thoughts don't all flow....they are just that.....my thoughts)....I had been feeling lonely, stressed, and emotionally drained.  I was in survival mode for probably longer than I should have been.  The sad part is, I didn't even recognize that fact that I was in that mode until I started climbing out of the hole I had gotten myself into!  Anyway, loneliness is one of the big ways Satan has decided to attack me and it was really getting to me.  Then I realized something, the time I was spending with God had shrunk to an embarrassing amount.  No wonder! My love tank was continuing to drain and I was the one preventing it from being filled!  I then pondered something else.....like most human beings, I need and desire love, I want that loving relationship, and I search for love, but at the exact same time, I can so easy put off and ignore the one who loves me beyond what I can even begin to comprehend!!  The one who has shown me such immense love and has proved His faithfulness over and over again!  What is wrong with me?  Why do I think I know how to deal with things better then Him?  Why is it so easy for me to surrender to Him and accept His love when things are going well....but then when things start getting hard, I start to build up the walls around my heart again and start to close my hands to the grace and love He offers.  He knows exactly what is best for me!!!....yet I would rather have control over the reins, because that means that I can give myself some safety and protection.

Because of a lot of these thoughts running through my head, I recently wrote a song trying to put them all together.  So here are some of the lyrics.....the song isn't done yet and I still want to write at least one more verse...but I will share with you what I have.

I took notice the other day
That I had begun the slide again
Back to the place of self-reliance
I start feeling like I got this, just trust me
Around my heart the walls start to rebuild
And the distance keeps growing between You and me

So show me my brokenness
Tear down my walls again
Cause, oh Lord, I'm nothing without You
Cause You give the beat of my heart
The night sky is lit up with Your stars
And, oh Lord, how I need to know You more!

I need to be reminded so often of who He is and who I am.  One of my favorite ways God can speak this to me is through the night sky.  It is INCREDIBLE!!  When you look up, you start to realize just how little we are and how BIG God is!  We are just a speck in part of the Milky Way galaxy......a speck in just ONE galaxy!!!!!  Yet He loves us so incredibly much!  It really puts a perspective on things for me. God is in charge....and I need to let Him have FULL control over my life and let Him write my story.

Now for some pictures:)

Gatlinburg, TN

Rachelle, Leah, & I

Audrey, Hannah, Danielle, Leah, Rachelle, & I

Amazing view!

 the blue girls:)

 the whole group that went to the smokies

Ziplining!!!!

Picture right before jumping the waterfall!:)

After the jump:)

Love, Love, Love story book skies:)

Some of the fun things I have made:)

Key Lime Pie

Watermelon cake....I carved a watermelon, then put whipped cream over it and topped with fruit!

We got several boxes of blackberries from a food bank run, so I made lemon cupcakes with blackberry buttercream:)

At Bluffton Street Fair with Alyssa & Danielle

My Lighthouse

I recently read this Psalm as part of my daily Bible reading on my phone....

(1) You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. (2) I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. (3) Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. (4) I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. (5) I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. (6) On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. (7) Because you are my help,I sing in the shadow of your wings. (8) I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.

That was Psalm 63:1-8.  The bold parts are some of my favorite parts, but the entire passage really strikes me.  It evokes so much longing, deep passion, gratitude, and love. I am so thankful to be able to be God's daughter, something that I don't deserve in anyway, nor will I ever be able to earn that place. Yet He loves me!  I love the image of being under His wing; to be shielded and protected.

I also want to share the lyrics to a song.  Many of you probably already know it, but it has been kind of a theme song for the summer..... (It is by Rend Collective...yes they are awesome!!)

My Lighthouse
In my wrestling and in my doubts
In my failures You won't walk out
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea

In the silence, You won't let go
In my questions, Your truth will hold
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea

My Lighthouse, my lighthouse
Shining in the darkness, I will follow You
My Lighthouse, my Lighthouse
I will trust the promise,
You will carry me safe to shore

I won't fear what tomorrow brings
with each morning I'll rise and sing
My God's love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea

Fire before us, You're the brightest
You will lead us through the storms

As far as my summer, it has been pretty crazy!  I went camping in Red Wing, MN with some family and friends!  It is absolutely beautiful up there!! God is so majestic!!  My sister came out to visit me for a long weekend, and we took a couple friends up to Cedar Point for a day.  I went to Mediapolis/Oakville over the 4th of July....first time back since Stephanie's wedding!  My mom and sister also were down most of this past week.  The Gateway Woods auction was this past Saturday.  HUGE thanks to all who came out to support!  And to all who show support through the year whether it is with money, time, or prayer. Each is important!!!  This was actually my first Gateway Woods auction!!  I really enjoyed it!!  Sunday and Monday were relax days for me...:)  Monday I went up to Lake James with Taylor Gerber.  I read a book and laid out most of the day, went tubing, went on a VERY entertaining pontoon ride, and ate food:)(obviously).  A great way to destress and revamp.:)

Kelsy, Korinn, Abby, and I eating peaches n' ice cream:)

My awesome cousin!!!!

One of the many random pics…….it was late…….

Introduced another Indiana girl to Taco Johns!!!!! Amazing stuff right there…..

On the top of Barn Bluff in Red Wing, MN

Mom and me:)

Our awesome and amazing parents!!!!…..and kinda weird….but vat can you expect? (said in a norwegian accent)

The world's largest boot!! If I recall correctly…it is size 637 1/2!!!

On a morning hike before we left MN

All the girls (none of the guys were able to make it this year…!)

The whole crew…minus Emily…the photographer

 Starting our camping excursion!!!:)

If you only have a lemon to give.....

   "Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, of the parable of the Good Samaritan, that the first question that the priest asked, was 'If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?'  But then the Good Samaritan came by, and he reversed the question: 'If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?'

   A day is coming, and may be here, when we will no longer look to the social activist to lead us.  A day is coming, and may be here, when we will look for small things to do tirelessly within our own sphere, the small things that could make life-changing differences for the people all around us.  Not as much 'what would Jesus do?'....but rather, what will I do?

   When the opportunity to help arises, if it's a lemon, if it's just a lemon, if that is all we can do -- let us do it.  In that moment, we make mankind our business."

The previous paragraphs are all from the book The Sentinels of Andersonville by Tracy Groot.  It is about a prison during the civil war (really good book for all you that love to read!!...it is completely packed with history, but is written in such a way that it doesn't feel like your brain is being stuffed with information.:))  Anyway these paragraphs have just really stuck with me.  We often feel like we can't make that big of a difference so what's the point?  How in the world is one lemon to one of the thousands of starving guys really going to make a difference?  We need to be doing what we can do, to reach out and help those around us.  Don't be worried about what is going to happen to you, or wonder how your small act of kindness is really going to make a difference.  We have a choice...we can turn our heads and walk by; or we can stop, help with what we can, and make mankind our business...and to follow what God calls us to do.

I have actually done quite a bit of traveling lately!! I went home to Minnesota the last weekend in May for Kelsy's graduation!  I hadn't been home since Christmas...so it was really nice to be able to see so many friends and family again!!  Audrey Reinhard rode up with me....and I am surprised to say that I didn't even scare her off!!! I figured one time traveling with me would be enough....especially for a 25 hour trip!!:)  But the very next weekend, we drove out to Peoria, IL for Bill Frauhiger & Bethany Reinhard's wedding.  It was a very beautiful wedding!  I stayed with Olivia Steffen Saturday night, then spent Sunday evening & night with Erin Scheiler, then on Monday several friends from Haiti and I went ice skating!!:)

Someone posted this on fb recently, and I really like it!! I think  mostly because I have been much been feeling like this lately! There is humor in it, yet definitely truth to it!:)

Kyler & Aubrey.....awesome friends:)

This is what happens when someone takes your phone and takes 100 pics.....yes....I will now have awesome black mailing material.....:)

 Audrey & I at an overlook in Peoria!:)

ICE SKATING!!!!:)

Some cupcakes I learned how to decorate at a class:)  My talent is lacking in this area.....

Spent some time with Rich & Amber Pfister today!!  Rich & the kids took us out and showed us there new ride....Rich's invention.:)  It was pretty awesome!! 

My painting project I did one day...free style....so not straight or same size by any means...but a good start:)  Now I just gotta figure out what else I want to do with it.....:) 

Lindsey & I ....after we unlocked the car...with jumper cables:)  Yes....we are definitely awesome....:)

Ran a 6k the other weekend with Lindsey and Sarena.  It was to raise money to build wells in Africa!

I think that about sums up my life right now....for the most part:)  If I got too much more detailed I would have no more readers.....:)  Hope you are all having a great start to your summer!!!

"The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower."  Psalm 18:2