Adventure Fuelings: Do You Trust Me?

"Do you trust me?" God asked. To which I responded "yes, I trust You." Again the question..."Do you trust me?" Once again my answer was the same. After several repeats of the same question and answer; He asked me yet again..."Do you trust me?" I responded "I am trying to." The question came again and my answer this time was "Okay, not really... teach me to trust you and walk alongside me. Help me to become vulnerable to you." Not that I don't trust Him with anything. However the truth is it is easy to trust God with the lighted rooms of our heart, but what about those rooms that are in the back, that are dark, and have been locked for quite possibly years. Do you trust God enough to welcome Him into those rooms (your deepest hurts, fears, greatest hopes, dreams) and be with you there? I understand God knows everything about me, whether I trust Him or not; however, God wants us to let Him in. He isn't one to come barging in forcefully. No, rather, He stands outside those closed doors and continually knocks. Waiting patiently for us to answer the door and welcome Him inside. It is definitely not an easy call to answer, it takes a lot of courage. It is way easier to stick with what I know, to stay in control of my disastrous room, and keep it to myself rather than trust someone else to see it.

This right here is one of my largest and toughest struggle. A lesson life taught me growing up was if you don't want to be crushed by pain, protect yourself. I decided early on I would do the latter since I knew what the first felt like. Promises and commitments made as a child can become concrete and extremely hard to break as the child grows into adulthood. I told myself I would never allow someone to hurt me in the same way again, then set to work at figuring out how to do it. I have to give myself some credit, I have learned how to do it very well! Unfortunately, God doesn't want just the part of my heart I am willing to give away. Which answers the question why God has been continually asking me if I trust Him. While He is working on me (blunt truth.....will take a long time), I would like to challenge you to look at your hearts and see if you have truly given Him your heart as a whole.

Since my Ethiopia trip, I went home (to MN) for a week. Jeff flew home from Arizona and our entire family spent some time together at a cabin on lake Minnewaska!! I brought home my friend/roommate Kristi Baran, which was a lot fun! The week as a whole was rather cold/rainy/windy; however we were able to have one very nice day which we used to it's full extent with skiing, tubing, and wake boarding. I was actually able to spend a decent amount of quality time with family and friends! We also got to see the northern lights (although very faint) while there!!

I also went camping a couple different times up in Michigan with Sarena Wahl (my other roommate)! It was great and absolutely beautiful! I really love nature and camping....it also brings back so many wonderful memories from growing up!:)

Otherwise I have pretty much just been working, running, eating, and sleeping. Yup, a thrilling life it is!:) Oh, I did just run my first 10K (6.21 miles) last weekend!! I ran my best and bet my goal time with a 9:40 minute mile! I am actually running a 5 mile race tomorrow too in order to raise money for Riley's hospital. I have a goal of continuing to train throughout the winter and run a half marathon in the spring. Then just for kicks and giggles....a full marathon possible in the fall.:)

Sarena & I in Traverse City, MI