Adventure Fuelings: Mind Boggling Love

So I'm singing through the Old Testament books: 🎶"Amos, Obadiah,.....Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai..." 🎶 And I'm like "Who are these men? Why are they in the Bible? Clearly what they had to say was important! But what do these books talk about?" I sadly had no good answer. Most of my readings and studies are and have been in the New Testament. One reason is that the Old Testament can seem really intimidating to me! I made a commitment to change that, so I started with Hosea. Here were my three major take aways; the DEPTH of God's love, His FAITHFUL pursuit of me, and my OWN sinfulness. Hosea is about Israel's rebellion/falling away from God, God's judgement on them, God's mercy, and His deep love for Israel. God made Israel's situation very real to Hosea by telling him to go marry a prostitute and then how that all played out. As I continued to study, I became Gomer and along the same lines then, Israel. As some of you know, I am a huge journaler(...definitely a word...). The other day I wrote out the story of Gomer & Hosea, only it was me and God. It made it really real to me, so below is my journal entry with y'all. I rarely share from my journal, so here is a raw glimpse into my mind.....warning: here is your last chance to run....

"God went to the "brothel" (a place where sin is rampant, a disgusting place, where outcasts live, etc) to find me. He bought me from my owner (Satan), took me for His own, and we shared an intimate relationship for awhile. He drew me close and loved me. I loved Him, I obeyed Him, and dwelt with Him in union. Yet after awhile the brothel started having more of an appeal. Maybe because God was getting too closer (like I was starting to feel my walls fall), maybe it was the pain of having to face the consequences of my sins, maybe it was not wanting Him to see my true ugliness, or a combination and host of other reason. However, my fear, hurt, and anger drove me back to my old sinful dwelling place. There, I could find some kind of safety in knowing what to expect, in staying inside my comfort box of what I know life to me and how to successfully operate in it. Yes, it wasn't anywhere near as good as an intimate relationship with God. Yes, it caused more pain, but I knew that lifestyle. I had learned ways and knew how to live in that. I had grown accustomed to it.

Now that I had run away from God, I thought I was safe, that I could run my life the way it had been run for so many years before. I found a relief in knowing that. Then one day, God shows up....as Im in the act of adultery/sin against Him!! I am completely flushed with embarrassment that He sees me like this. I also am overcome with this fear of His reaction (knowing I am rightfully His) and I prepare myself for the worst (which I already have decided in my mind is coming). But then He does something that completely shocks me and crumbles my entire thought process! He says to me "You are mine, I love you, I want you back." IN MY SIN!!! He said that to me while seeing me acting out my sin!! My mind revolts... No Way! There is absolutely no way He could possibly love me right now, or anymore. Not after what I have done! This man is CRAZY!

So God goes to the owner and asks to get me back. "No," they say, "if you want her back, you must buy her like a slave." Well, that settled it in my mind. No way is God actually going to pay money to get me back. I am not even close to worth it! It was already a huge stretch for Him to pursue me at all! Then, once again, He tears about my world view, sends my mind spinning as He pays a great deal to take back what was His in the first place. In complete shock, confusion, fear, happiness, and awe; I follow this man out of my sin back into His presence.

I find safety in Him and am completely blown away by His love for me. He says, "I will make you lie down in safety. And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord." (Hosea 2:18b-20) I cannot fathom...my mind cannot wrap it's mind around why He loves me so deeply. Why God desires such an intensely intimate relationship with me! I am so unworthy! I am defiled by sin. I have sinned against Him! Yet He draws me to Him by the power of His deep love. That kind of love is mind boggling.

I have experienced and know this love deeply. So why in my deepest pains, in my devastating needs, do I run away? Why do I push hard against the only One who can fill my emptiness, the only One who can heal my pain? The One who loves me deeply? Instead..I am just like the Israelites, I cry out in my pain and express all my needs. I ask to have my pain be taken away and my needs met, but then run seeking after ways other than God. Saying "there has to be a way I can figure this out. I can do it on my own!" I push away from the One thing that I need the most."

I am just like Gomer and the Israelites. I cannot help but see myself in their sinfulness. One more thing I want to share. God judges, not to be cruel. Not because He's a mean God, but because He is a just and righteous God. Sin must be consequenced. He cannot overlook it, because for Him to overlook it is to become unjust. However, it doesn't make Him vicious, if fact it deeply grieves Him! As I read through this book, I got a strong feeling of how much we in our sin hurt God. There is much God has to say about the judgment to be poured out against Israel. The punishment for their sin. Yet it is full of His love for them, His desire for them to turn back to Him, and His mercy towards them.

Anyway...I have already written a ton and hardly tapped into everything Hosea has to teach us! So I would highly encourage you to take the time to meditate on it yourself!! :) Then you can share your thoughts and the things you learned with me!! I would LOVE it!

CHAPTER 2 - 😬

Harvest Call Trip (BEWARE: It's kinda long...so I left out a ton and bolded some of big moments)

Recently, I had the great privilege to spend a week in South Carolina with Harvest Call. I cannot express enough how much it had a profound impact on me!! I was able to develop new relationships with so many incredible people and was truly blessed beyond measure! It was really incredible to watch how God brought the right people and placed them in the right homes at the right time. He divinely orchestrated all the little details!!

The first day of work, I was helping paint a couple rooms at Peggy Pitts house. I really enjoyed getting to talk with some of the other ladies that I was working alongside! A favorite moment of that day, was when we drove to one of the other houses that we had built and helped clean up there. While there, these two very classy black ladies (looked like a mom & daughter) walked by. They stopped by the house and were Praising God for the work being done and then burst into "Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Let the earth hear His voice...." 💙 The saddest moment of the day would be that it happened to be DQ's free cone day! We did a search, found the closest one, plugged it into our GPS and drove a "little ways" out of the way only to be devastated when the end result was NOT a DQ!!! Many a tear was shed....although that was probably a result of laughing....

Tuesday I was switched to a different crew, which I stayed on the rest of the week. We were working on putting a new roof on Easter Wiley's home and repairing several different parts of the floor in her house. Easter's house was the last house Harvest Call picked up and they had just started work on it the end of the previous week. She lives with her daughter and her three grandkids (Nene, Tamera, and Cameron). I would have to say....we had THE "Dream Team." Not that I am biased whatsoever..... ;) Tuesday we tore off the old shingles, made some roof repairs, and put some kinda paper all up over it. (Don't worry, Im totally an expert on this kinda stuff.) The shocking moment: Tim gave me the staple/button gun thing to run AND a nail gun!! It was more fun than work, and I felt a little guilty as some of my coworkers seemed to be staring longingly at the gun wishing they had gotten it. :) What can I say....I was pretty much nailing it at my job! :) Favorite moment: playing football with Cameron (one of the kids that lives there) & Emit (his cousin). Luckiest moment: Kody Beyer (one of the kids from Kansas) took it upon himself to name himself Kommander Kody and placed the three girls on our team under his leadership & direction. He proceeded to give us nicknames. Alyssa Strahm = Cha-Cha; Cheyene Rokey = Che-Che; myself = Knaughty-block. The lucky part being that my nickname could just as easily have been Choo-Choo...

Wednesday we started the putting the new shingles on. We didn't get it quite finished, but we did get the great majority done!! Favorite: I got to talk with Tamera (13) and Nene (15)!! God gave me a deep love for these two beautiful girls and I am SO thankful that God brought them into my life!! Scariest: Having a nail gun passed to me...aimed right at my face! Ok, so I was really jumpy in general when it came to other people handling nail guns... Gospel moment: A lady drove up to the house we were working on and gave us a full blown sermon on how important action is, to be "doing" our Christian walk. Praising and thanking God for her answered prayers! She had been praying that this house would be worked on!!

Thursday was a short day of work since we quit around 3. So we finished up the roof, did some painting, and continued the work going on inside the home. That evening was the Dedication service for all the homes and it was an incredible evening!! Most of the homeowners came and they all got a chance to talk. It was amazing to get to hear how God answered their prayers and ours, how God used Harvest Call to bless them, and how God used the homeowners & families to bless us! Favorite moment: Easter, Driscille, Tamera, Nene, & Cameron being able to come to the dedication! They met us at camp and then rode with Dallas & I to the service. I loved being able to just spend time with them!! Gospel moment: Basically the whole evening was a huge one! Hardest moment: Saying goodbye to Easter & her family knowing I won't be seeing them again for a little while.

Friday after breakfast Maria and I packed up and headed to Charleston. We decided to drive out of our way to visit the ocean since we were so close!! We got there around noon and spent a couple hours there just relaxing. I believe God knew just how much we needed that time to think, process through the week, talk to Him, journal, etc. God moment: We had just sat down on the beach and had pulled out our lunches. As a started eating I looked over the ocean and there just beyond the waves crashing on the shore was a pod of dolphins frolicking in the water!! It might not have been a big moment for everyone, but it was a love gift straight to me! Because God knows me sooo well! He not only knows my love for the ocean, but He also knows that my absolute favorite animal is the dolphin (seriously.....go to my room back home....I have countless dolphin figurines)!! It was (to me) a beautiful love note from Him!! He picked that beach, at that time to give me a gift "just because." After the beach, we started our drive back home. We drove to Knoxville, TN where we spent the night before driving the rest of the way back Saturday. God moment: There were three ladies driving back one of the Harvest Call vans and they broke down on the way home. They were able to get most of the details worked out, but needed a way to get to a car rental place. Turns out, they were only 30 min north of Knoxville and the closest car rental was in Knoxville. The car rental ended up being only 3 min away from the random hotel Maria & I stayed in! So I drove up early Saturday to pick up a couple of them and bring them to the rental place. It was awesome to hear them account the story on how God had worked out all the little details!!! I couldn't have agreed more.

Our Dream Team